Ways To Annoy People: The Theater
by HermioneMaggieJareau
Summary: The third installment of my "Ways To Annoy People" series. This one involves Emily Prentiss, doing weird and annoying things in the theater. Clyde is also with her.
1. We Don't Play Classic Films Here

**A/N: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! Who's ready for the third segment of my "Ways to Annoy People" series? In this one, we've got Emily Prentiss doing some weird/annoying things in the theater. Clyde Easter is also with her. Anyway, if you want to know what happens, then you gotta read it.**

**Disclaimer: Emily, Clyde and any of the films that were mention in this chapter, do not belong to me, but Andrew/Gary is mine.**

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**"Humor prevents one from becoming a tragic figure even though he/she is involved in tragic events." ~E.T. "Cy" Eberhart**

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It was a beautiful Friday afternoon and Emily Prentiss was in her home in London, clearly bored out of her mind. She tried reading a book. She tried watching television. She even tried doing some yoga, but nothing could cure her boredom. Finally an idea came to her mind. Grabbing her cell phone from the kitchen counter, she dialed a number.

"Hello Clyde? It's me, Emily. ….. No, I'm fine. I was just wondering if you'd like to go see a movie with me? I'm paying. … No, I insist on paying. ….. Okay, great! I'll be at your place in thirty minutes!" Prentiss smiled as the call ended.

After calling Clyde, Prentiss then walked into her bedroom to change her clothes. It took her a few minutes to decide on what to wear. Putting on a pair of blue jeans with a red sweetheart neckline blouse and a pair of black heeled boots and sweeping her hair into a pony tail, Prentiss was satisfied with her look.

It was nearly 4:30 pm when Prentiss and Clyde arrived at the theater. The two of them chatted with each other as they waited in line to buy a couple of movie tickets.

"Emily, are you sure you don't want me paying for anything? Because I can." Clyde said.

"Yes, I am absolutely sure. I invited you, so I insist on paying for everything." Prentiss reassured him as she smiled.

"Well, alright then. If you insist." Clyde returned a smile to her.

When it was finally their turn to purchase the tickets, they were greeted by a young man with dark hair and green eyes. The man smiled at them as he spoke.

"Hi, how are you two?" The man asked.

"We're fine. Thanks for asking. Now we would like two tickets to "_**The Grapes Of Wrath."**_ Prentiss received a strange look from both Clyde and the other man.

"Uh, Emily. I don't think…" Clyde was about to say something, before the other man interrupted him.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but we don't play classic films here. We only play new films here."

"But I wanted to watch a classic film!" Prentiss let out a fake whine.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know how I can help you." The man said.

Propping her elbows on the counter and resting her chin on top of her hands, Prentiss smiled at the man and said, "Listen Gary, can I call you Gary?"

"My name's Andrew."

"Well, you look more like a Gary. So that's what I'm going to call you. Alright, Gary, I've got a hundred dollar bill with your name on it and if you can allow my friend and I access to your little secret screening room here, then the cash is all yours. Do we have a deal?" Prentiss asked.

"There is no secret screening room here." Andrew said.

Prentiss held her head in defeat and Clyde and Andrew could have both sworn that she was crying. Not knowing what to do, Clyde awkwardly patted her back.

"Would you like me to recommend the films that are playing here?" Andrew asked, hoping to ease the already awkward situation.

"Yes, that would be great." Clyde said.

"We've got _**"Captain America: Winter Soldier," "Noah," "A Haunted House 2," "Oculus," "Heaven Is For Real," "Transcendence," and "The Quiet Ones." **_Would you like to see any of those?"

"What do you think Emily? Which one of those movies sounds good to you?" Clyde asked.

Prentiss raised her head and said, "Well, I suppose we could see _**"Captain America: Winter Soldier."**_ I heard that's going to be a great film. So, might as well try it out." She then paid the money for the two tickets.

"Can I get you two anything else?" Andrew asked as handed them the tickets.

Prentiss looked at Clyde and asked, "Clyde, you want anything?"

"No thanks."

Prentiss then turned her attention back to Andrew and said, "Thank you for asking, but we don't need anything else."

"Alright, you two enjoy the film then." Andrew said.

When the two of them were out of earshot of Andrew, Clyde whispered to Prentiss, "Hey, are you feeling alright? What was that all about? That thing about wanting to see a classic film here?"

Prentiss grinned and said, "Oh, I just wanted to see what his reaction would be when I asked him that. Don't worry, I'm not crazy. I just want to have a little fun."

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**End of chapter one. So what did you all think of it? Don't worry, you can be honest about it. I promise I won't throw a fit if you say you hated it. I'll have chapter two up as soon as possible. **


	2. Popcorn Return Policy

** A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad most of you liked it! Oh and by the way, to the reviewer who calls themselves FCOL, yes, this story is meant to be funny. So if you don't like it, then I suggest you take your damn eyes elsewhere! Anyway, I hope the rest of you like this next chapter as much as you liked the first one.**

**Disclaimer: Prentiss and Clyde are not mine and neither is the movie, but Andrew/Gary is mine.**

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Prentiss and Clyde had found their way into the right theater room and decided to sit in the front row. The room was nearly packed.

"Wow, sure is a lot of people here." Prentiss said as she looked around.

"Well, everyone just loves superhero films." Clyde said with a smile.

Within five minutes of sitting down, Prentiss decided she wanted a snack.

"Hey, I'm getting kind of hungry now. So I'm going to go get a bucket of popcorn. You want anything?"

"I'll take a soda. You want me to come with you?" Clyde began to rise from his seat, until Prentiss stopped him.

"No no. You stay here. I can get them, myself."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm absolutely sure."

"Alright then. Here's some money." Clyde attempted to hand her some cash, but she refused to take it from him.

"Clyde, we've talked about this already. I invited you and I insist on paying for everything. Keep your money."

"I know we've talked about it already, but I just don't feel right with you paying for everything. I should at least pay for something."

Prentiss gave her friend a stern look and said, "Clyde, if you ever invite me somewhere, then you can pay for everything. But today, you will pay for absolutely nothing. Am I clear?"

"Yes, I suppose you're clear." Clyde placed his money back into his wallet.

"Good, I'll be back in a few moments." Prentiss smiled and walked away.

Prentiss waited patiently in line at the concession stand. When it was finally her turn, she was once again greeted by Andrew. With a smile, she spoke to him.

"Hello again, Gary."

"Hello again, to you too. And it's Andrew." He corrected her.

"Yeah well, I still think you look like a Gary. Anyway, I want to buy some snacks."

"Alright, what would you like?"

"Well, first off, I'd like a large soda for my friend and for me, well I'd like a large bucket of popcorn." Prentiss said.

Andrew added up the charges and then told them to her. "Alright, that will be £5."

"Here's £10 ." Prentiss said as she handed the money to him. A few seconds later, she was given £5 back.

"Your soda and popcorn will be ready in just a moment." Andrew said.

Prentiss waited and then her snacks were handed to her.

"Thanks Gary. Oh! I forgot to ask you something!"

"What do you need?" Andrew asked.

"I'm sorry to have to ask you this, but what is the return policy on popcorn?" Prentiss received a very strange look from Andrew.

"I'm sorry, but we don't do refunds on popcorn."

"Oh that's too bad. The reason I asked, was because usually when I eat popcorn, nearly forty percent of the kernels are not popped."

"I can assure you that our machines here, doesn't leave a kernel un popped."

"Well, alright then, but if I find even one un popped kernel in this bucket, then I'm not going to be too happy about it." Prentiss warned as she walked away.

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**End of chapter two. I know it's short and I'm very sorry for that. But please leave a review. I'll try to have chapter three up as soon as possible. **


	3. It's Snowing!

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm really glad you all still like this story! Also, I'm aware that over in London, the people uses pounds instead of dollars, but I'm from America; so I really don't know how the way of money works in London because I've never been there. So I'll just continue to use the word "dollars." Anyway…. I hope you all will enjoy this next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Although I wish they were mind, I must be honest and say that Clyde, Emily, Penelope and Reid don't belong to me. They belong to CBS/Criminal Minds. But on the brightside…. Everyone else in this chapter is mine!**

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Clyde was watching the commercials and waiting patiently for Prentiss to return. When she finally returned, she handed him his soda and sat down next to him.

"Thanks Emily."

"You're welcome. Did I miss anything?"

"No, they're just showing the previews for upcoming films."

"Oh, you want some popcorn?" Prentiss offered the bucket to him.

"No thanks. I'm good for now." Clyde said.

"Alright then, but if you decide if you want any, then it's right here. I know I won't be able to eat the whole thing, myself." Prentiss said as she took a bite of popcorn.

The two of them chatted with each other, while the previews played.

"So, when is Penelope supposed to arrive?" Clyde asked.

"I think she should be here, tomorrow." Prentiss answered.

"How long will she be staying?"

"At least a week or maybe two."

"Will any of your other friends be with her?"

"No, they've all got other plans."

"Oh, I see. Well, maybe you can all get together sometime soon and do something." Clyde suggested.

"That would be great. I do miss them a lot. And you should really come with us."

"I just might have to take you up on that offer." Clyde smiled at Prentiss and she smiled back at him.

"Just a warning here, but I wouldn't stand around Reid too much, otherwise he'd spend hours just throwing out random facts about the weirdest things." Prentiss let out a small laugh.

Clyde also laughed and said, "Yeah well, most geniuses are like that. They like to share their knowledge with others."

A few moments later, the two of them were silent and watching the previews. Suddenly, Prentiss took out a handful of popcorn and threw it in the air, while yelling "IT'S SNOWING! IT'S SNOWING!" She received strange looks from everyone in the room, including Clyde. There were even a few people whispering about her.

"Mommy, is there something wrong with that lady?"

"I don't know, Demetrius, but we really shouldn't be talking about others."

"Why mommy?"

"Because it isn't very polite to talk about others."

Prentiss heard a mother and a young son talking to each other and couldn't help but smile. She threw another handful of popcorn into the air and yelled "JUST LOOK AT ALL THE SNOW! IT'S SO PRETTY!" I REALLY HOPE IT STICKS BECAUSE I LOVE MAKING SNOW ANGELS AND SNOWMEN!"

"That woman has totally lost it!" A girl whispered to her friends and they all agreed with her.

"Emily, what are you doing? People are staring and talking. Are you sure you're alright?" Clyde was very concerned for his friend.

Prentiss smiled at Clyde and said, "No need to worry about me. I'm fine. Just having a little fun creeping people out. You think they're creeped out?"

"Uh… I think it's safe to say yes. Yes they are clearly creeped out. And to be honest, you're kind of creeping me out too."

"Great! That's exactly what I was expecting!"

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**End of chapter three. I know. It's another short chapter and I'm very sorry for it, but I hoped you all liked it enough to leave a review. Chapter four will be up soon.**


	4. You Only Live Once

**A/N: Thanks for the wonderful amazing reviews from the previous chapter. I'm glad you all really liked it. And I'd also like to thank TheMysteriousGeek2345 for helping me with the London Currency. I really appreciate the help. Anyway, I hope you all will enjoy this next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: You can pretty much guess by now that Clyde and Emily still do not belong to me, but everyone else in this chapter is mine!**

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After creeping everyone out with her little popcorn fiasco, Prentiss decided to calm down a bit. The whispers about her, had even stopped. But she knew that almost everyone, including Clyde, were still concerned about her. And she didn't even care. She was just enjoying the fun that she was having.

"Mind if I have some popcorn?" Clyde asked.

"Oh no. I don't mind at all. Here, help yourself." Prentiss passed the bucket to him.

Clyde took a handful of popcorn out of the bucket and couldn't help but ask, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Nope, I don't mind at all. Ask me anything you want and I'll give you an honest answer."

"What's with you today? First you ask for tickets for really old movies and then you throw popcorn in the air, believing it to be snow. Are you having some kind of health issues?"

"I also asked about the return policy on the popcorn." Prentiss admitted with a smile.

"You didn't." Clyde said, hoping Prentiss would be lying.

"Nope, I really did. And you should have seen the look on Gary's, I mean Andrew's face."

"I think I can probably imagine what the look was. He was probably shocked when you asked him that."

"Yep, he sure was."

"So anyway, why exactly are you pulling all these pranks?" Clyde asked.

"Because you only live once and if you don't do any crazy or stupid stuff while you're still young, then what have you got to look back on, when you're older? When I'm an elderly woman in my seventies or eighties, I want to be able to remember all the fun stuff I did, not the boring." Prentiss explained.

"I believe I see what you mean." Clyde smiled.

"I'm glad you finally understand and don't be afraid to join in on the fun. Like I said, you only live once. So you might as well have some fun while you can." Prentiss smiled back.

Everyone was now quiet and it was now time for the truth commercial to appear. Prentiss saw this as her chance to stand up and loudly say, "The makers of this film could not find any way to make their characters rebellious, rockin' or awesome! So, they will just smoke instead!"

Sure enough, everyone except Clyde, looked at her like she was some alien creature who had just dropped in from another planet. Clyde couldn't help, but to smile at his friend's braveness and boldness.

"Okay, now that one was really hilarious." Clyde whispered as Prentiss sat back down.

"Eh… I've got more planned. The show isn't over yet." Prentiss grinned.

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**End of chapter four. Yes, I'm aware that it's short and yes, I apologize for it. But I'd still love to see some reviews for it. Good or bad. You all know that I'll accept them both. Chapter five will be up soon.**


	5. HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE WATCH THIS!

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm really glad you all liked it. I really hope you'll all like this next chapter too. **

**Disclaimer: Yep… As we all know by now, Clyde and Emily are not mine, but everyone else is.**

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The room was now completely silent, as the movie was about to begin. But, the silence was soon shattered because the moment the movie began to play, Prentiss jumped out of her seat and ran screaming out of the room.

"AH! THIS MOVIE IS TOO SCARY FOR ME! HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE WATCH THIS KIND OF STUFF?!"

Everyone was absolutely stunned and shocked at what had just occurred. No one knew what to say, until a woman approached Clyde, who was trying his best not to laugh or smile, and asked him, "Excuse, but is your friend alright? We have all noticed that she has behaving rather strangely. Is there something wrong with her?" The woman eyes were filled with concern.

"I'm terribly sorry about my friend. She hasn't been the same since she lost custody of her cat. Ever since the day her ex-boyfriend gained custody of the cat, she hasn't been the same. She really loved that cat." Clyde lied as he did his best to contain a straight face.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. I do hope she gets better soon." The woman said.

"Thank you. I'm sure she'll be fine. This all just happened recently." Clyde said.

Finally, when the woman returned to her seat, Clyde smiled and began to watch the movie, while thinking to himself, "_I can't believe she actually fell for that story. Emily's going to laugh when I tell her."_

Meanwhile, Prentiss was in the lobby, just looking at all the movie posters hanging on the walls. Soon, a young boy walks in with his parents. He is wearing a fedora hat and Prentiss sees this as her chance at her next prank. So she approaches him.

"Hi, excuse me. I love you hat." Prentiss said.

"Thank you!" The boy said.

"I'll give you £50 for it." Prentiss offered, clearly shocking the boy and his parents.

"This hat only cost £5 ." The boy's mother said.

"Yeah, what you're offering is just too much." The father chimed in.

"Well, I really like it and seeing that he's wearing the hat, I believe he gets to make the final decision." Prentiss said as she looked at the young boy.

"I'll take it!" The boy happily exclaimed.

"Looks like we've made a deal!" Prentiss handed the money to the pleased young boy and took the hat from him. She then walked away, leaving both the parents shocked and the son, clearly happy with his £50.

Prentiss soon made her way back to the theater room and walked down the aisle, doing her best not to disturb anyone, well not just yet. She could feel people staring at her. With the hat in her hands, she sat down next to Clyde.

"Finally decided to come back?" Clyde smiled.

"Yep, so what was everyone's reaction when I ran screaming out of here?"

"Well, they were all shocked and stunned and no one knew what to say, but then a woman asked me if there was something wrong with you."

"Really? What did you tell her?" Prentiss was really eager to know.

"I told her that you recently broke up with your boyfriend and that he got custody of the cat. And I told her that you haven't been the same since then."

"And she believed you?"

"She sure did. Hey, by the way, what's up with the hat?"

"Oh, you'll see. It's for my next prank." Prentiss smiled as she twirled the hat on the tip of her index finger.

"I can't wait to see what you've got planned next." Clyde said.

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**End of chapter five. Please leave a review. If you're wondering what's up with the hat, then keep reading because you'll find out in the next chapter. I'll have it up as soon as possible.**


	6. Donate To The EP & CE Foundation

**A/N: Sorry for wait, everyone. Thanks for the reviews! I absolutely loved them! Anyway, I really hope you'll all like this next chapter too! **

**Disclaimer: Emily and Clyde are not mine, but everyone else in this chapter is!**

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Nearly thirty minutes of the movie had been playing and everyone was quietly watching it. The hat that Prentiss had recently just bought, sat on the floor. Clyde silently wondered what it was for. He thought about asking her again, but decided not to because she would eventually tell him.

Prentiss reached down and picked up the hat and whispered into Clyde's ear, "Donate to the E.P. and C.E. foundation. It's a really great cause."

Clyde couldn't help but give his friend a strange and odd look, but Prentiss gave him a look that clearly said, "_Trust me, I know what I'm doing."_

"Be sure to pass the hat around and whisper what I just told you." Prentiss whispered.

Taking the hat from Prentiss' hands and dropping some money into it, Clyde then handed the hat to a woman who was seated next to him and whispered to her, "Excuse me, ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you mind making a small donation to the E.P. and C.E. foundation. It's a really great cause. I would greatly appreciate it if you did. Oh and please pass the hat around."

The woman had a suspicious look on her face, but then, without saying a word, the woman smiled at Clyde and dropped a few coins into the hat. She then passed it to the person seated next to her and whispered what Clyde had just whispered to her.

The hat was passed around the room and everyone willingly donated some of their own money, without questioning what E.P. and C.E. stood for. When the hat finally made its way back into Prentiss' hands, she looked into it and smile had appeared on her face. The hat was nearly filled with money. Clyde watched as Prentiss smiled and whispered into her ear, "So, you wanna tell me what the E.P. and C.E. foundation is?"

Prentiss whispered back to him, "I can't believe you don't have the slightest idea as to what E.P. and C.E. stands for."

Clyde just gave her a look that said, "Seriously please tell me because I'm just dying to know."

"Emily Prentiss and Clyde Easter. E.P. and C.E. Get it?" Prentiss explained in a whisper.

Upon hearing what Prentiss had just told him, Clyde grinned and whispered, "Oh, you're very clever. I could never come up with a brilliant idea like that."

"Oh I've been planning this ever since I bought this hat from that kid, earlier."

"How much do you think we've collected?" Clyde asked.

"Oh, by the looks of it, I'd say about £250."

"I never knew people could be so generous." Clyde grinned.

"Yeah I know, right? We should come here, more often." Prentiss grinned back at Clyde.

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**End of chapter six. You all know the drill. Leave a review. I'd really love to know what you all thought. Chapter seven will be up as soon as possible.**


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